Snarky. Is that a word? It must be cuz it keeps going thru my head.
I’ve had such a hard time controlling my thoughts lately. You know the story. Old friends. Old memories. Old sins. Old hurts.
Wanting desperately to leave it alone. Wanting desperately to rehash. Rethink. Relive.
To be snarky and superior. Cynical. Judging. Recognizing my bitterness, and so full circle back to wanting desperately to leave it alone.
How to get free..?
I don’t know. But here’s some things that have come to mind.
1. This process is okay. It’s just okay. Not always easy, but it doesn’t mean I’ve not forgiven. It just means I have to forgive more and farther and more and farther again.. and that’s a good thing.
2. There’s things I need to see and sort out. So I can see I’m okay and clear on it.
3. 70×7 is a real concept and it’s very likely in any relational conflict that I will literally come back to it 490 times and Jesus gets that. As long as I’m truly sorting it out with him, the process is okay.
4. Revisiting it brings out the hidden things in my heart so they don’t do damage. It’s not to show me how evil I am. There’s no condemnation in the process.
5. I always end back in a level place where people’s accusations and sins can’t touch me anymore. And that’s a place of freedom.
6. I always end up at mercy and love. Might take me a few days to get there, but I always do. Rehashing with the Lord is always fruitful, and so nothing to be frustrated with.
7. Just because I re-sort things out doesn’t mean I need to pursue a relationship with them. (If that’s his will, he’ll make it known, but revisiting doesn’t automatically mean such).
—
Dealing with any bitterness and unforgiveness is really a health issue, as such things really do effect us physically. I have this devotional on Soundcloud in more detail if you’d like to listen to it.
Thoughts on Forgiveness Lately
https://soundcloud.com/maryb-17/thoughts-on-forgiveness-lately
This article was first published in Healthy Healing Digest. You can subscribe in the sidebar. —->